
Adult animation · TV-MA
Dead Weight
A homeless mongoose, vampire, robot, and comedian rebuild their lives after a flying rat loses all their money.
[FROM THE CREATORS OF NOTHING YOU'VE EVER HEARD OF…]
[SCROLL. THE MARKET IS OPEN.]
01 The Investment

Rat: Yes. Yes yes yes. I love watching money move.
Rat: Trust me, this is gonna make us rich.

Rat: Look. I bet all of it on Pear.
[THE GRAPH SPIKES UPWARD. HARD.]

Mongoose: Wow. You made a LOT of money.
Rat: Yeah. I can see through time.
Rat: And I can fly.

Rat: Can you fly?
Mongoose: No.
Rat: Can you fly?

Vampire: Greetings! I am a Russian vampire, here to court you for playing the stock market too well.
Rat: Can you fly?
Vampire: No.
Rat: When you have use in society, people really appreciate you.

Girl: I'm the woman of the stock market.
Rat: Can you fly?
Girl: No.
Girl: You believe this guy?
Mongoose: I -- uh. He can see the future apparently.

Robot: Can I interrupt?
Rat: Can you fly?
[THE ROBOT SAYS NOTHING. HIS VISOR FLICKERS.]
Chapter 1, The Investment, as one scene (67 seconds, captioned).
02 Joyride

[THE ROBOT HAS ROCKET BOOTS.]

[THE RAT HAS A TINY HAT.]

[THEY LOOP PAST A FLOCK OF STARTLED PIGEONS.]

[AND ROCKET BACK DOWN.]
Chapter 2, Joyride, as one scene (20 seconds, captioned).
03 The Crash

Rat: Okay. NOW we're going to buy.

[THE STOCK PLUMMETS.]
Rat: Damn. I lost all my money.
[EVERYONE WATCHES IN SILENCE.]

Rat: Okay, so that's, that's a problem.

Mongoose: I thought you knew what you were doing.
Rat: I can fly.
Mongoose: Then why did you use the Robot to fly?
[THE FLYING RAT SAYS NOTHING.]

Mongoose: I GAVE you a fortune. I have NOTHING left!
Rat: You're a mongoose. You live like an urchin. What do you need money for?

Girl: I bet everything on you! I cancelled my health insurance for this!
Robot: Totally. I need food and shelter. I can fly though.
Rat: Nice. I'm happy you can fly. You're the only one who's cool here.

Rat: Now then. Ancient shinobi art.
Mongoose: What?
[POOF.]

Vampire: Where did he go?
Girl: Did that rat just ninjutsu us?
Chapter 3, The Crash, as one scene (71 seconds, captioned).
04 Rock Bottom

[HOMELESS SHELTER. NIGHT.]

Vampire: We leveraged all our assets on a man with no scruples, a tiny brain,
Vampire: furry hind legs, and a perfume reminiscent of turd.

Mongoose: It's almost as if we should have seen this coming.

Robot: I've always been homeless.
[EVERYONE LOOKS AT THE ROBOT.]

Mongoose: We find him, and we torture him until money falls out.

Girl: Why don't you just all live inside me?
[LONG PAUSE. THEN THEY BURST OUT LAUGHING.]
Vampire: You should do stand-up.

Girl: You know what? Yeah. Yeah I should.
Mongoose (under his breath): That's actually kind of brave.
Chapter 4, Rock Bottom, as one scene (51 seconds, captioned).
05 The Open Mic

Manager: Another sold-out show.

Girl: My therapist says I use humor to avoid my feelings. I said, that's hilarious.

Girl: I'm not avoiding my feelings.
Girl: I'm just managing them in a fun, fun, legal way.

Girl: I BOMBED AND I'M STILL BROKE!
Girl: 'What's the difference between a stock portfolio and a dumpster fire? One smells better.'

Girl: Nothing. NOTHING.
Robot: I thought it was statistically humorous.
Girl: That's the worst thing anyone's ever said to me.
[SOLIDARITY SMOKING.]

Manager: Man, that was a putrid set. No offense.
Mongoose: Yeah well, we just lost everything to the flying rat crisis. Not too funny.
Manager: Tell you what. I got an empty room upstairs you can all stay in.

Girl: I am so MAD.
Vampire: Are you sure those are tears of anger and not tears of defeat?
Robot: There there.
Chapter 5, The Open Mic, as one scene (67 seconds, captioned).
06 The Room Upstairs

Manager: Just don't make a mess. There's no power but there's running water.

Mongoose: So the rat stole everything.
Vampire: Not everything. He left us the shame.
Mongoose: That's not a consolation.

Mongoose: He wasn't such a bad guy. I knew him for years.
Vampire: I knew him for a day.
Girl: I knew him for twenty minutes and gave him my life savings.

[THE ROBOT SWITCHES ON HIS DRUNK MODE.]
Robot: The stocks just kept going backwards.

Girl: Stocks only go one way, loser.
Robot: That's what they all say.

Vampire: I'll say this: it's the worst experience of my life.
Girl: What are you trying to say?
Vampire: I'm trying to say we're all in this together.
[SOMETHING GENUINE FOR ONCE.]

Girl: I'm gonna need some more of that.
Mongoose: I'm so tired.
Everyone: Same.
Chapter 6, The Room Upstairs, as one scene (66 seconds, captioned).
07 I'm With You Always

[THE BOTTLE EMPTIES. EVERYONE SLEEPS.]
[EXCEPT THE MONGOOSE.]

Rat (distant, echoing): I'm with you always.

Mongoose (seething): That ████.
Chapter 7, I'm With You Always, as one scene (14 seconds, captioned).
08 We Get Jobs

[DAYLIGHT SLAMS IN.]
Mongoose: I SAW THAT ████ LAST NIGHT!
Vampire: It's not like you to freak out.

Mongoose: IF I SEE THAT ████ ONE MORE TIME, I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!

Girl: Woah.
Girl (whispered): He's kind of hot when he's unhinged.
[TINY HEARTS PULSE IN HIS VISOR.]

Mongoose: WE'RE GONNA ████ING DIE! Unless...
Girl: What is it?
Mongoose: We get jobs.

[THEY ALL LOOK AT EACH OTHER.]
Girl: That's PERFECT!
Chapter 8, We Get Jobs, as one scene (40 seconds, captioned).
09 Gainfully Employed

[THE MONGOOSE THREADS FILM THROUGH A PROJECTOR.]
[QUIET WORK IN A DARK ROOM.]

[NO WORDS.]

Girl: Welcome, moviegoers!
Girl: Tonight's feature is a story about loss, redemption,
Girl: and a flying rat who destroyed my credit score.
[A FEW CONFUSED LAUGHS.]

Captain Marsh: ...and that is why form 27B strictly prohibits the use of glitter in evidence bags.
[THE ROBOT TAKES NOTES WITH A TINY STYLUS.]

Robot: I have completed the report.
Captain Marsh: This is just the word 'crime' printed forty times.
Robot: Crime occurred forty times.
Robot: I will now patrol.

Vampire: I am creature of night.
Vampire: I am eternal.
Vampire: I am... wet.
Vampire: Do you know where is the nearest laundromat?
Vampire: This city has no culture.

Robot: I have a job.
Robot: I am police.
Girl: You broke three desks this week.
Robot: Crime is hard on furniture.
Chapter 9, Gainfully Employed, as one scene (75 seconds, captioned).
10 The Parking Lot

Girl: Can I get your advice on something?
Mongoose: No.

Girl: How come?
Mongoose: Taking advice is the death of yourself and the death of others.

Mongoose: I can't be a better you than you.
Girl: I get you.

[HEADLIGHTS SWEEP ACROSS THE LOT.]
Mongoose: Shit.
Girl: Holy shit, you actually came!
Robot: Of course, my love.

Vampire: We found him.
Mongoose: No ████ way.
Vampire: He was seen crossing the border with two kilos of crystal methamphetamine. Not joking.

Robot: He was shot trying to cross.
Mongoose: So that's it? He's just dead?
Robot: Yep. He's no longer mortal flesh.
[SOMETHING BETWEEN RELIEF AND GRIEF.]

Robot: Wine coolers.
Mongoose: Holy shit. I love you guys for sport.

[THE MONGOOSE WATCHES THE CRUISER GO.]
[THE GIRL WATCHES THE MONGOOSE.]
Chapter 10, The Parking Lot, as one scene (70 seconds, captioned).
11 Mind Control

Mongoose: Need anything from the store?
Girl: You know what? I'll come with you.

Mongoose: I was thinking.
Girl: 'Bout what?
Mongoose: About you, actually.

Mongoose: When you think of something, do you ever get pulled to think something else?
Girl: Yeah. All the time.
Mongoose: You ever think it's mind control?

Girl: Oh yeah. Everything can mind-control you. First thing you learn on the stock market.
Mongoose: I think madly of you. But I don't think it's mind control.

Girl: I've really always had a crush on you.
Mongoose: So what now?

Rat (ghost): I am here!
Girl: Oh, you've GOT to be kidding me.

[THE MONGOOSE HOLDS UP A SHINOBI MUDRA.]
[HIS EYES NARROW.]
Chapter 11, Mind Control, as one scene (60 seconds, captioned).
12 The Spectral Plane

Mongoose (in Japanese): Looks like you've met your match.

Rat: What language are you speaking?

Mongoose (in Japanese): Prepare for combat.

[ONE SINGLE TELEPORTING SLASH.]
Mongoose (in Japanese): Too slow.

[THE RAT EXPLODES INTO A SHOWER OF MONEY.]
Chapter 12, The Spectral Plane, as one scene (28 seconds, captioned).
13 The Payday

[MONEY RAINS DOWN FROM NOWHERE.]

Girl: Oh my god. We're rich.
Mongoose: I'm rich.
Girl: Huh?
Mongoose: It was my kill.

[THE GIRL SOBS. THEN NODS. SHE GETS IT.]
Mongoose: There there.
Girl: Now I know how a toddler feels when they can't have a Mega Stack.

Mongoose: Or forty million of them.
[SHE CRIES HARDER.]

[HE SCOOPS UP TWO FISTFULS OF CASH.]
Mongoose: Here.
Girl (sniffling): Really?
Mongoose: I'm a mongoose. I live like an urchin. What do I need money for?

[THEY STAND IN A BLIZZARD OF CASH.]
Chapter 13, The Payday, as one scene (48 seconds, captioned).
14 Can I Fly?

[THE SHELTER. NIGHT. THE ROBOT IS ALONE.]
[HE LOOKS AT HIS PHONE. NOTHING.]

Robot: …Can I fly?

[HIS ROCKET BOOTS IGNITE.]
[HE CRASHES THROUGH THE CEILING.]
[SMASH TO BLACK.]
Chapter 14, Can I Fly?, as one scene (20 seconds, captioned).
Dead Weight
[COMING TO SCREENS NEAR WHATEVER DEVICE YOU'RE HOLDING.]
Rat: I'm still here.
